Anella woke not to the sound of her alarm but to the severe cramping of her abdominals. Though she was in pain, she had a good feeling about this. Her week had been far more stressful than expected, and the fact that she was slightly insane did not help her at all.
After a long yawn she sprang out of bed to get some advil. It had been 4 days, and "it" had not come yet. Anella clicked on the TV, realising that she still had half an hour before she had to get up. Yet another pregnancy test commerical was on the screen, it must have been clearblue or something along those lines. Anella knew it was impossible but she kept thinking it was a sign. She shook the crazy out of her head, shut off the television, and started to draw a bath in preperation for her long day at school.
Anella watched the water steam as it filled up the bathtub, she threw in some salts and took off her pyjamas. The bathroom was cold, she was quick to jump into the bath. The hot water burning the soles of her feet. She jumped right back out, cursing herself for not testing the water first. The mirrors fogged as now cool water was mixing with the hot creating a homemade steamroom. Testing the water this time Anella sunk slowly into the tub. The warm water soothed her abdomen. A tight warm and wet hug all around her waist. She was at peace, she shut her eyes and tried to relax.
Relaxation did not come; anxiety and grief as thoughts of Tyler filled Anella's head; Tyler had slowly started making attempts to prove he had changed. Their time apart a reflection of what needed to be done in order to keep a strong and healthy relationship. There were so many reasons Anella could think of that made her want to stay away from him, but her heart shouted at her to let those thoughts rest.
A loud knock on the door brought her back to reality. "Anella, are you ready to go?"
Fuck.
Anella scrambled to her feet, trying to not slip and fall she replied "Yeah, 2 minutes."
Keeling over in pain; throwing on her clothing, stumbling into her shoes, all while applying some mascara without poking herself in the eye; Anella was ready for the day.
Tuesday, February 14, 2012
Wednesday, February 8, 2012
Nay-Dreaming
Anella sat in class twirling her pencil in her fingers. Thoughts of Tyler swarmed her head. She was brought out of her daydream by the loud beeping of her phone. The class stared at her; the teacher unimpressed with her noisy distraction.
"Anella, if you must take that, do it outside of the classroom. No phones."
Anella walked out with her head hung, avoiding eye contact from the teacher. She felt embarrassed, her face pink and her heart fluttering she closed the door behind her. The eyes of her class, no matter how its happened to others before, made her feel a spectacle and all the more awkward. With a quick shake of her head, she remembered the reason she was out in the hall. Her hands wrapped tightly around her phone.
Looking down, the LED light blinking bright blue rapidly, Anella was in a state of confusion. Blue was the colour of Carl, and though she hadn't heard from him at all over the winter break, she felt her stomach turn. Anella unlocked her phone and clicked her messages tab.
It was Carl. She thought to herself how odd it had been to hear from him again. "Gym?" Anella shook her head. School would drag on to about 530 tonight unless they let the class out early by fifteen minutes. She fiddled around with her phone and gauged the likelihood of her going to meet up with him at the gym. Anella had not heard from him for at least 2 weeks, its been a long day, and frankly she had better things to do like watch "How to Train Your Dragon" for the 17th time. She started typing away at her phone.
That sounds nice and all, but I'll be pretty tired after class and I don't feel like shaving my legs just to get all sweaty.
Anella laughed at herself and felt satisfied with this answer, it wasn't a lie, and it sounded in her humour. As she began walking back to the class and her poorly manicured hand reached for the door handle her phone buzzed again. She was somewhat excited to see Carl's response to her humorous excuse.
You're going to hate this but; I just don't have the energy for you right now.
Anella's face cringed in confusion. She was little disappointed in his lack of humour, but replied anyway; turned off her phone and returned to class.
"Anella, if you must take that, do it outside of the classroom. No phones."
Anella walked out with her head hung, avoiding eye contact from the teacher. She felt embarrassed, her face pink and her heart fluttering she closed the door behind her. The eyes of her class, no matter how its happened to others before, made her feel a spectacle and all the more awkward. With a quick shake of her head, she remembered the reason she was out in the hall. Her hands wrapped tightly around her phone.
Looking down, the LED light blinking bright blue rapidly, Anella was in a state of confusion. Blue was the colour of Carl, and though she hadn't heard from him at all over the winter break, she felt her stomach turn. Anella unlocked her phone and clicked her messages tab.
It was Carl. She thought to herself how odd it had been to hear from him again. "Gym?" Anella shook her head. School would drag on to about 530 tonight unless they let the class out early by fifteen minutes. She fiddled around with her phone and gauged the likelihood of her going to meet up with him at the gym. Anella had not heard from him for at least 2 weeks, its been a long day, and frankly she had better things to do like watch "How to Train Your Dragon" for the 17th time. She started typing away at her phone.
That sounds nice and all, but I'll be pretty tired after class and I don't feel like shaving my legs just to get all sweaty.
Anella laughed at herself and felt satisfied with this answer, it wasn't a lie, and it sounded in her humour. As she began walking back to the class and her poorly manicured hand reached for the door handle her phone buzzed again. She was somewhat excited to see Carl's response to her humorous excuse.
You're going to hate this but; I just don't have the energy for you right now.
Anella's face cringed in confusion. She was little disappointed in his lack of humour, but replied anyway; turned off her phone and returned to class.
Tuesday, February 7, 2012
A twist in the Tale..
It was a cold day in Vancouver, the clouds hung low in the sky and and eerie mist set around the city.
Anella had not heard from Carl since her return from Whistler and didn't expect to. A good distraction for the time being. Here she stood at the Quay, awaiting a twist in her fate. Her best friend, Jaycee, had warned her of this day. The day Tyler would come crawling back, begging for her, and explaining all his mistakes and woes; trying to smooth talk his way back into her heart and messing around with the dust that had settled in her mind. "And.. you're going to tell him you've moved on, and you don't need him, and even if you still love him you can't have him dragging you down." He had said.
Cigarette lit in hand, she stared blankly at the sea bus terminal, watching one leave as another came. She questioned herself why she bothered to risk her weak immune system, and her heart for this foolish boy. She gazed into the water a dark teal and brown colour, and birds; lots of damn birds flying above her eyeing her french fries from McDonalds. She knew this was his seabus. She could sense it.
Her phone beeped with a text - they just looked at me like i'm an idiot, there is no second floor to this starbucks, where are you...- "never mind, I found you." Anella turned around. He came up to her. Tall and handso- "What did you do to your eyebrows?! And.. your hair, why are there racing stripes?" She was in shock. He laughed, and said "It'll grow on you." She looked at him, his foolish grin drew her in instantly. Nothing else was there. That was at least until their eyes met. Her heart hiccuped.
Anella's heart grew that day.. she scolded herself for it, the only thing that should be growing is the hair on Tylers eyebrows, the eyebrows over his husky blue eyes. She'd gotten lost in them so many times before. She forced herself to look away, turning her attention back to the distractions of the birds, the water, and the people passing by.
They stood together, lit another cigarette and stared again into the distance; Anella awkwardly avoiding eyecontact; speaking of their lives and the people they've met, even how they've changed. The conversation flowed with ease and Anella found moments where things felt absolutely normal. Moments where she remembered when they were blissfully in love; thats when she'd fall silent and look away, also remembering that they no longer were.
And after they spoke nonsensities, their gazes met..
Tyler reached forward for her hand, Anella laughed, teasing him "is this where you tell me you can't live without me? And you love me and want me back?"
His eyes never left her. His mouth twitched, trying to fight back the dissappointment and continue holding a smile. It became obvious to him then that Anella had truly moved on. The sky had gotten darker, they had not looked up until the soft touch of the rain had began to fall onto their cheeks.
Anella squinted as she stared into the sky, once again avoiding Tylers eyes. She opened her mouth to catch a raindrop on her tongue, however the rain was far too light still and had only grazed her cheeks. She spun a few times, just feeling the refreshing and cool air against her face.
Tyler took her hand this time again, and stopped her mid-spin. "Anella." His voice shook a little, she could hear it and knew that it was time to be serious. "I know you think this might be a joke, but, I miss you." Anella felt her heart hiccup, again. She swallowed, unsure of what to say. Of course she had missed him aswell. She was so in love with him. All the firsts they had shared together were hard to forget, not that she wanted to. Her hand tightened around Tylers grasp but as she realised that it had done so, she let go. His bright blue eyes looked into her. She felt them poking around inside her head. He must be so confused right now. Anella was still thinking of what to say that time was passing them by all the more quickly.
She tried to speak but nothing came out. Anella took as subtle a breath as she could; not that it made a difference, his eyes fixed on her. "I miss you too."
At that moment, Anella fell into a tight embrace. Locked in his arms all the emotions came rushing back. She was in a state of utter confusion. Everything Jaycee had predicted was coming true. All the nights spent distracting herself with Carl, wishing Tyler would realise his mistake were becoming a reality.
She tried to speak again, "Tyler, even though I've missed you and - " He interrupted her, "Anella, stop talking; I need to say this."
Anella had not heard from Carl since her return from Whistler and didn't expect to. A good distraction for the time being. Here she stood at the Quay, awaiting a twist in her fate. Her best friend, Jaycee, had warned her of this day. The day Tyler would come crawling back, begging for her, and explaining all his mistakes and woes; trying to smooth talk his way back into her heart and messing around with the dust that had settled in her mind. "And.. you're going to tell him you've moved on, and you don't need him, and even if you still love him you can't have him dragging you down." He had said.
Cigarette lit in hand, she stared blankly at the sea bus terminal, watching one leave as another came. She questioned herself why she bothered to risk her weak immune system, and her heart for this foolish boy. She gazed into the water a dark teal and brown colour, and birds; lots of damn birds flying above her eyeing her french fries from McDonalds. She knew this was his seabus. She could sense it.
Her phone beeped with a text - they just looked at me like i'm an idiot, there is no second floor to this starbucks, where are you...- "never mind, I found you." Anella turned around. He came up to her. Tall and handso- "What did you do to your eyebrows?! And.. your hair, why are there racing stripes?" She was in shock. He laughed, and said "It'll grow on you." She looked at him, his foolish grin drew her in instantly. Nothing else was there. That was at least until their eyes met. Her heart hiccuped.
Anella's heart grew that day.. she scolded herself for it, the only thing that should be growing is the hair on Tylers eyebrows, the eyebrows over his husky blue eyes. She'd gotten lost in them so many times before. She forced herself to look away, turning her attention back to the distractions of the birds, the water, and the people passing by.
They stood together, lit another cigarette and stared again into the distance; Anella awkwardly avoiding eyecontact; speaking of their lives and the people they've met, even how they've changed. The conversation flowed with ease and Anella found moments where things felt absolutely normal. Moments where she remembered when they were blissfully in love; thats when she'd fall silent and look away, also remembering that they no longer were.
And after they spoke nonsensities, their gazes met..
Tyler reached forward for her hand, Anella laughed, teasing him "is this where you tell me you can't live without me? And you love me and want me back?"
His eyes never left her. His mouth twitched, trying to fight back the dissappointment and continue holding a smile. It became obvious to him then that Anella had truly moved on. The sky had gotten darker, they had not looked up until the soft touch of the rain had began to fall onto their cheeks.
Anella squinted as she stared into the sky, once again avoiding Tylers eyes. She opened her mouth to catch a raindrop on her tongue, however the rain was far too light still and had only grazed her cheeks. She spun a few times, just feeling the refreshing and cool air against her face.
Tyler took her hand this time again, and stopped her mid-spin. "Anella." His voice shook a little, she could hear it and knew that it was time to be serious. "I know you think this might be a joke, but, I miss you." Anella felt her heart hiccup, again. She swallowed, unsure of what to say. Of course she had missed him aswell. She was so in love with him. All the firsts they had shared together were hard to forget, not that she wanted to. Her hand tightened around Tylers grasp but as she realised that it had done so, she let go. His bright blue eyes looked into her. She felt them poking around inside her head. He must be so confused right now. Anella was still thinking of what to say that time was passing them by all the more quickly.
She tried to speak but nothing came out. Anella took as subtle a breath as she could; not that it made a difference, his eyes fixed on her. "I miss you too."
At that moment, Anella fell into a tight embrace. Locked in his arms all the emotions came rushing back. She was in a state of utter confusion. Everything Jaycee had predicted was coming true. All the nights spent distracting herself with Carl, wishing Tyler would realise his mistake were becoming a reality.
She tried to speak again, "Tyler, even though I've missed you and - " He interrupted her, "Anella, stop talking; I need to say this."
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