Her heart pounding as she walked through the door into his apartment. Greeted by his mother and sister the awkwardness began to set in. She hadn't thought much about where this unlikely friendship was going but it seemed as though all the conditions were set to create a loving relationship. That was certainly not what she wanted. For the moment in time, getting over her break up had been much easier thanks to him. Carl. But Anella was in no rush to re-spark the flames of romance with just anyone. Even though he might be a cool, hunky, tall glass of water. He certainly wasnt the type of guy she would go after. He was too close in personality to her friends. The guy who "would do anything to make her smile and keep her happy, and loved her unconditionally because, simply put, she was awesome." But things started to change after setting foot into that living room. A whole new dynamic. Family. Anella had met friend's families before but this felt different, this felt weird in the all too familiar nervous feeling of meeting the "in-laws," not only had he not met ANY of her family, he made a point to state how uncomfortable it made him feel not knowing his "girlfriends" parents. Anella's family isn't ready to have its heart broken again by a smooth-talking, handsome man.
The greetings were friendly, Anella earlier felt as though walking into a trap, now felt only slightly less anxious as she made conversation and smiled. She smiled. Carl walked off to make her a drink to loosen the tension that hung in the air. Her arms cinched around her waist. They all assumed she was cold. However Anella's inability to make a good first impression always weighed her down. "Just wait until you meet me the 3rd or 4th time" she said laughing, "that's when i start to grow on you." They all joined in giggling and grinning. She noticed she was sweating, and didn't understand how she felt so uncomfortable.
The night began with an adventure to the bay, a house party filled with unfamiliar faces. She recognized maybe 2 or 3 in the crowd and walked over as confidently as she could to say hello. Carl introduced her to face after face throughout the night, no names stuck. What an impression she made as she was called from across the room "Anila, vanilla, nutella, ella." God. She hated "Ella" the worst. Its as if no one even listened during the introduction, that they were so passive that her name didn't even leave a mark. Who the fuck is Ella.. and what an impression shes made.
Carl was on his way off to meet up with other people as planned and Anella stayed with the few faces she did recognize. On his way out there was an altercation and he was booted just as soon as he was walking out. This caused a confusion as Anella had never witnessed such a thing. She thought back to her days with her ex, Tyler, and the different situations they'd been in together but nothing like this. She thought she should have been more prepared as her horoscope earlier that day had mentioned "a feeling of confusion and a miscommunication will present itself." Anella glanced around the room, watching as one or two people went outside to see Carl. She should have gone, but something kept her back. A hand on her shoulder, telling her not to worry, that this has happened before and everyone will recover from it. She shook her head, but was left enclosed in the small kitchen. "Hes probably already on his way to meet up with the others, he's a big boy, he'll be fine." The face said.
She pulled out her phone, pulled up his name to fire off a quick text to see what was happening, but what to say. Casual "Hey" or... Concerned. "Are you okay, call me."
"Hey." She wrote walking off to a separate room waiting for an answer. Incognizant of Carl waiting for her in the awning of the garage just downstairs. No answer.
A face poked in the room "Stop being a downer and come out to play." Anella was confused. Who was this guy, and why was her location of any importance to him. She was fine trying to sort out the happenings on her own, staring blankly at a wall while hoping for a response. She drifted out of the conversation with the face, and was just thinking about Carl. Her friend. She tried to organize her thoughts." If I was his girlfriend I would run out after him, even as a friend I would." This situation was all too strange to her. She felt lost. She knew no one, and the only thing she had to go on were a strangers words of comfort. He shouldn't have brought me here.
She hopped into a car, Car ls friends were on their way to an after party and decided that her presence would be good company. She politely declined, but after a moment it was decided that she really had no choice. She knew Carl would be there, and that he was avoiding her messages, how would this be any fun. Seriously. She looked out the window as they drove. Absorbing the surroundings of the night. A cloudy sky that smeared the moon and hid the stars, dark trees that loomed over the streets, a dog with eyes that reflected headlights.
She walked into the unfamiliar house. Correction. Stumbled. Her heels squeezed at her feet, making it impossible to walk, especially down the concrete steps that lead towards the house. The ground was slick from the lightly falling rain. Anella entered the house Carl was standing in the kitchen with some other faces. She didn't recognize them. She walked over and cracked a joke, though it didn't fly. She grabbed him by the sleeve and brought him to another room. "Whats happening..?" She asked, worried that she shouldn't have. Worried that she shouldn't have even shown her face. If Tyler ever taught her anything, its that when a man walks away, he doesn't want you to follow him. He doesn't need you to baby him, and he certainly wont want you on his arm.
Carl began "you didn't come after me. Any other girlfriend of mine would have ran out to make sure I was alright. But you didn't. None of you did. None of my friends." Anella tried to speak her peace, but was silenced. She reached for his hand, but he moved it away. She thought to herself.. I am not your girlfriend. I like you. I really like you, and maybe one day would like the title, but the wounds from Tyler were still too fresh; she thought she was truley in love with him, and she still was, and Carl knew that. So much so that he corrected himself to saying "friend." It was once told to her that Carl would never speak "girl" and "friend" in the same sentence. But why did that bother her. She didn't want to be titled. But she knew these feelings she had must be real, the mind plays tricks, and when this happens you follow your heart. He too had recently been hurt. In the same position as Anella, was not looking for romance. They both sought comfort within each others arms and stories, yet there was no specific label placed. This is what confused her. She agreed that she should have come out, but there was this miscommunication. What was she to do in this scenario she was dropped in. How could he expect her to cater to his whims when she was so confused and distraught.
She reached again for his arm, he shoved it away this time. Anella looked him in the eyes, touched the length of his arm and whispered "Bye Carl," and walked out of the house. She was told once by her mother that if a man doesn't chase you when you walk away he doesn't deserve your time. Anella stood out in the rain, debating if she should call for a taxi or try and resolve the issue at hand with Carl, knowing that the result of trying to work things out might cause drama and ruin not only his night, but hers, and set tension for everyone else at the house, people she had just met, and though she didn't care much about, wouldn't want to jeopardize their evening and party.
Anella picked up her phone and called him. "Hey luv" he said followed by a disconnected beep. She watched as he walked from the kitchen to the foyer. He came outside to her. She tried to apologize for making him upset, but why. Why was this her fault. She swallowed her lump and apologized. He talked to her again, still unable to control the anger in his tone, no, the disappointment in his tone. She had obviously hurt him and she was trying to fix it. But just the sound of his sadness made her upset. She tried to speak, and her voice began to shake. She knew this is where the tears would come. She couldn't even avoid it.
He pulled a napkin out his pocket, and whiped her eyes. It seemed as though things would be alright. But she was tired of being blamed for his terrible evening. Why was her heart chasing this boy. This guy that would never have caught her eye earlier. He was so sweet. He treated her like a princess, this was a severe first. He asked her to cab with him. Anella agreed and called for a taxi.
She hopped into the cab. Staring out the window, was he going to show up, even after they had just sorted things out? He appeared outside and talked to his friend, then bolted back inside the house. House wasn't even the right word for it. She didnt absorb it at the time but this was a full on mansion. Looking at how it sat atop the rock of Caufield, the house mansion could easily have been 5 floors. The colour was hard to place, it was dark, some kind of blue, glancing towards Jared and Calvin who were standing outside in the rain splitting a cigarette she caught them waving her away, as though she shouldn't expect Carl to come out.
She understood, why would he want to leave his friends and this mansion party for his not girlfriend, not friend, not anything. And with that she signaled the cab and drove into the night.
Glancing at her phone, she was annoyed. She hit the C button and the speed dial called him immediately. He answered "why did you leave? Jared told me he chased your cab down trying to stop you, come back if you want."
It was though her prayers had been misguidedly answered. He wanted to come! But why would Jared lie about something so silly. As she was driving back to the house mansion, Jared approached the cab. Anella rolled down the window confused. Jared whispered, "I thought you might not have wanted to see him again tonight, I was giving you a clear get away." The sweetheart. Earlier when Anella stood in the rain, he was the one who coaxed her back into the comfort of the house when everyone else left her standing and sobbing. She rubbed her face into his white and red knit sweater. He hugged her. He had her back. A new friend, who she only knew for a day.
As they rode towards fair lonsdale, Carl recived a handful of phone calls. She sat there listening to him rant about the evening, about the people who wronged him, about the people who cared, and about where he was at right now. Anella sat there, again finding solace in distractedly staring out the window, counting the raindrops as they flew towards her. She lost count, but that didnt matter. She was sane, and the night was back on track. He was normal, she was normal, and the miscommunication was solved.
No comments:
Post a Comment